


we should be friends forever

by ggukxzo



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Jay is a good friend, M/M, Slight fluff, jake has a crisis, mentions of bts & txt, soft kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28857351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ggukxzo/pseuds/ggukxzo
Summary: Call it fate, but thinking about happy memories causes him to slightly shift in his spot and then he seeshim. The boy he was looking for yesterday and today. The boy he has to say sorry to. A boy who deserves the best.Sunghoon.
Relationships: Park Sunghoon & Shim Jaeyoon | Jake, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 4
Kudos: 82





	we should be friends forever

**Author's Note:**

> i really missed my enhypen babies :((
> 
> you can find me on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/gguktho)

It’s 8:45 pm and he’s tired.

He’s been hanging around the practice room for hours now, his bandmates already gone, and yet, he’s still trying to master the moves to perfection. 

It’s not that he’s bad. To be honest, Jake knows he’s quite good and that he keeps on getting better with each day. He’s seen the recordings, seen how well he does in the eye of the camera, which angle suits him best and properly shows off his assets. 

He’s been lurking on Twitter, checked Weverse for a daily dose of encouragement from the fans, seen his face on a huge billboard while in the car, on his way to school. So technically, Jake knows he’s good enough to not  _ have  _ to stay back and practice, but he can’t help himself. 

He played some nameless playlist from Spotify which consists of viral songs, and with his brows furrowed he steps to the front, carefully setting himself into position, eyes trained on his reflection in the mirror. He gently squats down, butt not touching the ground, hills propping him up, and he counts down until  _ Buss It  _ starts. He’s seen the challenge and wants to try. He gets ready, presses his sweaty palms to the shiny floor, prepares to push himself up, and when the beat drops, when he can feel the loud music through the speakers, he bends his knees and-

The door to the practice room opens suddenly, which causes him to whip his head to the side to glance at the intruder, and before he knows it, he’s falling onto the ground with a loud thud, his ankle twisted awkwardly. 

It takes him less than ten seconds to grasp at it, to feel the pain, and he bites back a whine, all to get control over his body  _ and  _ emotions back. 

“Jake!” He hears Sunghoon, but he’s too scared to look up. Too scared he shattered his ankle by accident. Too scared to face the person who caused him to lose the balance. “Holy shit, are you okay?” He can hear the dark-haired boy clearly now, he knows he stands by his side, ready to help him get back on his feet. “Jake, do I need to call for some-“

“I’m okay!” Jake hisses, and it sounds so hostile, so angry, so frustrated. 

He tries to stand, wobbles a little but doesn’t give in until they are face to face. Although it hurts, hurts so _ so  _ much he wants to cry, he doesn’t show it, or at least thinks he’s good at pretending to be unbothered. 

“What do you want?” 

“Sunoo said you stayed back.” Sunghoon scratches the back of his head. “He asked if I can take you to the dorms.” 

“As in?” 

“My driver’s waiting with Niki inside. We are the last one to leave.”

And Jake wants to decline. It’s not like he can, really, since soon the staff will come and say he must return to the dorms and take a rest, that tomorrow he has a packed schedule, more practices, some albums to sign, comments to reply, and that he already took his sweet time today. He knows there’s no way he can abuse the privilege of practicing in the place where other idols work long hours to master their choreographies, is aware that so soon into all this he’s not even assigned a private session. He wants to tell Sunghoon to get lost, but he also realizes it’s not his friend’s fault. After all, Sunghoon only wants to help. 

“Gimme five minutes,” Jake sighs, on his way to pick up his clothes, his bag, to disconnect his phone from the speaker set. When he turns around to look for his beanie he sees Sunghoon, who’s still standing by the entrance. “What?”

“Don’t have to pretend to be a hero.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ll text Heeseung to prepare an ice bag. You better use it if you don’t want to screw your ankle up.” And before Jake has a chance to reply, perhaps to thank him or say sorry for lashing out on him, Sunghoon’s gone. 

  
  


—-

  
  


The drive  _ home  _ is long. 

There's traffic, and the driver informs them that they might be stuck on the road for at least an hour and that he suggests they take a nap. Niki gladly does as he’s being told, using his jacket as a pseudo pillow, his head on top of the fluffy ball of clothing. 

He’s sitting at the front, in the passenger seat, while Jake is in the back, with Sunghoon. The other boy isn’t looking his way. He has headphones on, and even from his seat Jake can safely say he’s listening to their debut album. It’s equally weird and fascinating for him. To be aware that he’s one of the people singing on the record, one of the artists who other people from all around the world listen to, whom they recognize, whose photocards they put behind phone cases, and whose posters decorate walls. 

If Sunghoon is listening to it on his way home, then perhaps there’s a person, there,  _ somewhere,  _ listening to their songs while at home, painting maybe, or while grocery shopping. The options are unlimited, but he likes the simplicity of his ideas. That people just  _ simply  _ enjoy what they made while minding their usual business. 

He looks out of the window, his forehead plastered to the glass, admiring the view. Yes, there is traffic, and yes, he can barely see the top of the highest buildings, but if he cranes his neck in the right direction, he can not  _ only _ spot a top of a skyscraper but he also sees airplanes, he sees stars, he sees the moon. 

Jake is tired. He will not deny his exhaustion or that his moods have been changing like crazy lately. He won’t deny it when he’s by himself - but the moment there are other present, others who count on him - he can’t do that to them. Even if his ankle hurts or his heart desires to see his parents for a day of two, he is not going to break. 

He closes his eyes, meanwhile in the background  _ Intro: Walk The Line  _ is playing. 

  
  


—-

  
  


When they arrive at the dorm it’s already past ten, and most of the boys are probably asleep considering tomorrow is yet another day to survive. 

Just like Sunghoon had said, there’s an ice bag waiting for him on the counter in the middle of the kitchen, right beside his late dinner. It’s nothing much, just a soup with rice and some vegetables, but since he’s been working so hard today, he didn’t even notice his lack of breaks for food. His last meal was at 12, and ten hours later he feels like he’s about to pass out. 

He’s looking for chopsticks or a spoon, doesn’t really matter, when Jay enters the kitchen, already dressed in pajamas, with a cute headband keeping his hair in check. 

“Hey,” he greets the newcomer. “What are you up to?” It’s his chance to quietly redeem himself for acting like a dick before. And what if the person he should apologize to is Sunghoon? After all, everyone started to call Jay and Sunghoon soulmates so if he “apologizes” to one of them, it counts as two. 

“Late night snack,” Jay points at the fridge and Jake moves to give him some space. “What’s that?” 

Jake is puzzled since he doesn’t know what Jay is asking about, all until he sees him glance at the ice bag that is. “Ah, it’s for my ankle.”

“You good?”

“Will be.” Jake sends a signature blinding smile his way, and Jay nods. He doesn’t look convinced, though. 

“Jake, I wanted to ask you something?” It comes out sounding like a question and when even Jay realizes that, his cheeks turn bright red. “I mean, I have a question. Or a statement. Or- ah, whatever. Just-“

“Spit it out,” Jake chuckles at his odd behavior, sitting by the table and gesturing for Jay to do the same so that they can both eat and rest comfortably instead of standing like robots. 

“I know it’s getting a little hard.” The other boy starts, and Jake can feel his smile disappear in an instant. “And I don't know what happened between Sunghoon and you today but since you’re back he’s been sulking. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is… I heard beginnings are always fun, and that sooner or later it will catch up to us. Jungwon mentioned he’s been getting tired quicker, too. And-“

“Tell me your point,” Jake sighs, pulling on his hoodie. “Please.” He adds because he knows he sounds like he’s had enough of Jay’s rambling, even though he likes talking to the boy. Maybe just not today. 

“You have to surround yourself with friends, Jake. With us, with whoever you want, but someone you trust. You can’t be alone. We have a bright future ahead of us, so don’t try to shut yourself down now.” He can hear the honesty in Jay’s voice, and partly gets where he comes from. They are practically the same age, months don’t make that much of a difference, and he can’t be the only one worried about the future, about their well-being. The same probably goes for Sunghoon whom he pushed away today because he just wasn’t in the mood. 

And this feeling that he’s experiencing now, the pain in his chest at the memory - he doesn’t want bad blood between them. Thinks he never will. They have the type of connection that's a little different from everyone else, he knows this, but sometimes it scares him. That not only does he worry about himself, the others, but his mind is also constantly going back to Sunghoon, almost like a broken record. 

“Thank you,” he mumbles to Jay. Maybe he’s too scared to admit certain things, but he seriously has to sort his priorities - and as a priority set his bandmates. At the end of the day, they are stuck here together, and they will have to overcome obstacles  _ together _ . “Thank you for saying that.” 

“You can always count on me, Jake.” 

“You can count on me, too, Jay.”

After they part, Jake stays in the kitchen, hoping for Sunghoon to show up. There’s this side of him that has hopes that maybe his friend knows he’s waiting, that he wants to excuse himself, and offer his support no matter what. But, on the other hand, there's a side that is sure he won’t come here unless he gets really hungry. Minutes go by, the clock is ticking, and soon there’s calmness around him, not even a shower is running which means everyone’s already either asleep or trying to. 

Jake unlocks his phone to set an alarm as he has morning classes at 8:15, praying he will catch Sunghoon before they go separate ways for the day. 

With an unknown feeling of heaviness consuming his body, he falls asleep on the couch, not bothering to change his clothes. 

  
  


—-

  
  


Niki wakes him up at 7:50, saying he’d missed ten of his alarms. Jake sobers up almost immediately, eyes wide and frantic, not only because he fucked up yet again and missed Sunghoon, but also because he still has to wash up, and if he does, he’s going to be late. 

Heeseung offers him packed lunch, claiming he enjoyed cutting the paprika so much that he decided to do Jake a favor. It’s a nice gesture, one that melts his heart, and he thanks the older for it. 

He’s the last one to leave the dorm. 

There’s still the same heaviness in his chest, the one he fell asleep with, but he can’t do anything about it now. It will have to wait. He could text Sunghoon, sure, but that would be just plain cruel of him. Matters of importance can’t be dealt with over a phone, at least a sane person with feelings should realize that. Or maybe, it’s just what Jake thinks. 

  
  


—-

  
  


The classes Jake enjoys the most these days are his English classes. Obviously, he speaks the language, so he can cut himself some slack during those 45 minutes. He still makes notes, likes to be organized in such a way, but his mind is not fully occupied by what the teacher is saying. He glances at the watch on his wrist, sees how many minutes are still left, and he wants to bang his head against the desk. 

There’s also the realization of some sort that hits him - lately, his life is all about time. Time for classes, for the practice, for the shower. His best friend is a clock. His biggest worry is to oversleep. How does everybody do it then? Is he the only one who can’t manage his life properly? What has changed since the program had aired and I-land became a hit and they all gained popularity? Does he even have the time to dwell on that or is he just a hypocrite who can’t acknowledge the privilege that he has been given? 

In the past, it was easy. 

He wanted to be an idol, to be an icon for people to admire, wanted everyone to know his name and be  _ proud  _ of it. In the past, he asked his parents for a blessing in that matter, and for their support. They gave him that. Said he’s a good boy, and if that’s his wish then be it. 

But the past quickly became the present. 

He still loves it, loves the thrill, loves the attention, loves to make people he cares about, and learns to care about  _ proud _ . And yet, he’s having a crisis. He could go to the psychologist and ask for guidance, for tips, but he’s ashamed. Ashamed that he’s the only one who’s starting to break, even though they have the group meetings at least once a week to ensure they are all doing alright (and he clearly isn’t). 

_ Tick, tock. _

Just like that, another 45 minutes had passed, and Jake was free. 

  
  
  


—-

  
  


When he comes  _ home _ later (he still has a hard time admitting that this is truly his new home), it is to a full of people dorm. 

There is staff, men with cameras, members quickly pulling on new outfits and checking themselves in the mirror, waiting for the approval of their appearance. 

Jake stands awkwardly in the middle of the commotion, his heart starting to beat so fast he has to move toward the bathroom or the kitchen or  _ anywhere _ where he can hide, but someone is catching him by his elbow and ordering him to follow. He complies, head dizzy. Eventually, they stop in the living room, and he’s standing by the windows with their rollers all the way up, the rays of the sun painting the walls across. 

“Did you get the memo?” The woman in her thirties with a black, short bob and a suitcase full of makeup asks. 

“What memo?” He asks dumbly. 

The woman says something under her breath and disappears into the crowd, and it’s Jay who materializes in front of him next. “You still aren’t dressed? We’re leaving in twenty.” 

“I don’t even know where or-“

“Shit, okay,” Jay rushes to help Jake calm down. He must be looking worse than he feels, then. “Ugh, they messed something up with the schedule.” The blond boy growls at the memory, but continues. “Apparently we have to make an appearance at an important meeting today.”

“Okay.” Jake doesn’t even care when they are more important things than that. “Have you seen Sunghoon?”

“He’s getting ready,” Jay says. “Maybe you can catch him when-“

“Jay!” It’s Sunoo, running towards the both of them. “They gotta do your hair. C’mon!” 

Jay looks unsure of what to do. “If you want I can-“

“Go,” Jake smiles, but it’s sort of a sad smile. “I’ll have a chance to talk to him in the car.” 

Sunoo prompts them to move forward, and waves at Jake. The older waves back, seeing them being scooped up by the staff, and right that moment the lady who took him under her wing before shows up again, this time with a complete set of clothes for him to wear. 

They doll him up, give him the suit, put pins in his hair, and he’s okay with that. They ask him to take a few selfies at the event and then perhaps post them, and he’s okay with that. They tell him the car and his driver are already waiting, and he’s okay with that. When he gets to the car and sits at the back and sees the  _ change _ , he’s not okay with it, but there’s no time to question why Sunghoon isn’t traveling in the same vehicle as he and Niki. 

  
  
  


—-

  
  


The event is lavish. 

It’s happening at BigHit, in the conference room designed to hold parties and such. It’s packed up to the ceiling, more suits and more faces of older but very influential people. In the midst of it all, he can spot familiar faces, though. 

Sees Tomorrow x Together’s Choi Yeonjun and Kang Taehyun talking animatedly to Park Jimin and Kim Seokjin of BTS. Sees Sunoo holding a conversation with Jeon Jeongguk and Kim Taehyung on the side. Recognizes Kim Namjoon next to the Chief of PR. Doesn’t know the name, but understands the high position of a man standing in a circle of the BigHit’s independent artists. 

They are here to show off their faces, to show off the numbers they are making, they are here to brag about the image and accomplishments, but they’ve been specifically told to, so that is fine, but Jake still feels sick. Sick because he’s in the room with people who have been dealing with the business for longer and are good at managing their lives and how to  _ not _ crack under the pressure. Sick because all he really needs is Sunghoon and maybe it’s time for him to admit that. 

He’s not allowed to drink champagne, but the waitress asks anyway. He thanks her, but says no. Out of his eye, he sees Jay looking at him, but he doesn’t want him to know that he saw that worried glance. Jake is only desperate to find and make peace with Sunghoon. 

  
  


—-

  
  


Three hours and two pieces of some unpalatable cake later, Jake is standing in the far corner eyeing the space, looking out for any sign of Sunghoon, all in vain. No trace of the boy whatsoever, no luck on his part either. It’s almost like Sunghoon had dissolved into thin air, taking the shreds of sanity away from Jake. 

He tries,  _ oh so tries _ , to put on a smile and answer questions that they are asking him, throw his two cents worth into socializing, but he’s utterly devastated. He can’t imagine not being Sunghoon’s good friend, can’t comprehend the possibility of them not laughing their asses off after an especially tiring day full of surprises. Those are the moments he’s looking forward to when thinking about his motivation to keep on going. The precious parts of his day when he comes to their shared room, hears his bandmates joke, joins them on the floor and plays games or just talks, talks until they all get tired and eventually jump under the covers, lights off. He is tired, but there are days when everything, including him and the atmosphere, feels so pure, so comfortable that he thinks he  _ belongs.  _ Maybe he’s not in a great place right now, maybe yes, just like they all said - it is inevitable, he’ll burn but he’ll rise from the ashes again - maybe he just didn’t expect the fire to take him so soon - but he will overcome it. Not today, not tomorrow, but perhaps next week. Next month with his friends by his side, with  _ Sunghoon.  _ All he needs is a blank page - a page he will fill out with new, happy memories.

Call it fate, but thinking about happy memories causes him to slightly shift in his spot and  _ then _ he sees him. The boy he was looking for yesterday and today. The boy he has to say sorry to. A boy who deserves the best. 

This boy is currently heading toward a hallway, and Jake follows close by. It’s his chance to make things work again. To admit to his worries and ask for help - his chance to not be afraid anymore. 

The other boy turns left, and so does Jake. He’s met with a glass door, and he slides past it into the open air. He shivers after the breeze hits him, clutches onto his blazer tightly, and scans the expanse of the balcony. By the railing stands Sunghoon, his gaze lost somewhere in the wild night, form leaning toward it. He looks like he knows, like he was hoping for Jake to follow him. Looks like there’s something missing from his life, too.

“It’s pretty, right?” Sunghoon asks, not turning around but rather beckoning Jake towards himself which simply works. “Never thought we’d be invited to such events  _ this _ soon into our careers.” 

He joins him. “I guess. I still think it’s all a dream.”

“But dreams are perfect and this one isn’t,” Sunghoon says, breathing in and out slowly, not wanting a strep throat but knowing the sudden change in temperature may cause it. 

“You’re right, it isn’t,” Jake admits softly and then musters up the courage. “I’m sorry for how I acted last night. Truth is, it’s been on my mind ever since and I’m… I’m not in my  _ moment  _ right now. I know it’s a shitty excuse but-”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t angry with you.”

“But I was a douche.”

“That you surely were,” Sunghoon doesn’t disagree and they both snort. “But I know it’s been really tough for you lately. I’m sorry for not talking to you about it earlier. I’m here for you, you know it, right?” The other boy turns so that his body, his face, all of him can face Jake, and there’s something in his eyes that partly scares the shit out of Jake and also soothes his nerves. “We gotta stick together. Promise me that you’ll stick with me, Jake.”

In a very spur-of-a-moment, mayhaps because of the overwhelming and scrutinizing look that he’s gotten, Jake leans into Sunghoon’s personal space, until their foreheads touch and hands intertwine, and he plants a soft kiss to Sunghoon’s lips. 

It’s innocent, intimate and most of all, it’s a declaration of trust Jake has for him. Even if there are words that can’t be said out loud, words that  _ still  _ weigh too much, the action of sealed lips should be everything there is to know about Jake. 

It’s his first kiss, and he can’t say he feels fireworks and ground shaking. His first kiss is all about tasting  _ home _ . “I’ll stick with you. Of course, I will,” he whispers. “As long as you’re my friend I think I can do it.” And he’s not talking about anything specifically. He’s talking about life - about living in the dorms, being an idol, a son, a friend, a future lover, who knows. He’s still so young, a little clueless, but he thinks he can do  _ everything _ if he focuses on people whom he loves and who loves him in return.

“Well, in that case, I think we should be friends forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this little story :((  
> i have so many ideas for future works my head already hurts, but!  
> if you have any requests perhaps, or ideas, hit me up and I'll gladly write smth down :)  
> if u liked it, please leave a kudos or a comment. it always makes my day <3
> 
> in the meantime,  
> you can find me on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/gguktho)


End file.
